Today’s topic is very important for women, especially those girls who are in search of a good life partner and those who are living a life of abuse after marriage but are unable to make any decisions about their lives. I have seen many such women who face oppression, but the path to return seems almost impossible for them. Indeed, leaving a marriage after getting married is not easy; the life ahead stands as a new test before them. I wanted to highlight the rights of women in the light of Islam so that girls who wish to marry can choose their life partner based on these rights.
Love your life partner.
To make life beautiful, it is essential to love your life partner. With love, you can face all difficulties together. It is because of this love that your mental, intellectual, and spiritual standards align, which is very important for living a fulfilling life. Therefore, the most important thing for marriage is love for your life partner. If the person you like possesses the following qualities, then Islam allows you to marry someone of your choice. Otherwise, after assessing the criteria, love should be developed with the one who is eligible to marry you. Nikah is such a bond that as soon as a woman enters this relationship, she naturally starts loving her husband. By adopting good habits, she can also win her husband’s heart.
The ability to provide sustenance and maintenance.
A man must be capable of providing sustenance, including food and drink expenses, and private accommodation or a room for his wife and children, as well as clothing for them. However, a balanced approach should be adopted in this matter. A woman should not demand beyond the man’s capacity, and a man should not withhold despite having wealth. Sometimes, a man is wealthy but hesitates to spend on his wife with an open heart and wallet. A man should provide for his wife according to his capacity. If a woman requests a servant and the man can afford it, then it becomes obligatory for him to hire a servant for her. The husband must intervene if there is any oppression towards his wife, support her, and resolve conflicts harmoniously.
Clarification of accommodation
If a man is unable to provide a studio flat in areas where rent or property prices are high, such as London, he can move to a more affordable place according to his circumstances.
The husband must pay all the bills for his wife (electricity, gas, water, etc.).
Although the prices of bills have risen significantly, it is still the husband’s responsibility to pay them.
The husband must cover all the expenses during his wife’s pregnancy and childbirth.
Clarification of food.
It is necessary for the husband to provide food for his wife. The husband can buy groceries, and the wife may use them to cook her own food. If she does not wish to cook, the husband should cook for her. If the wife is not happy with his cooking, the husband can give her money so she can buy food for herself. All jurists agree that providing food is the husband’s responsibility, not the wife’s. The meals should include: meat once a week, dessert after every meal, some fruits, bread, and oil to add flavor to the food. If the wife has different food preferences, it can be tailored accordingly.
Clarification of cloths.
The husband must provide his wife with clothes. Ibn Nujaym states that the husband must provide new clothes every six months (for summer and winter). He must provide the following: two long kamees, two headscarves, a thin overcoat, trousers, two pairs of shoes, and a coat. If the wife wants silk clothing, the husband must provide it.
Sheikh Akram Nadwi comments that providing clothes every six months is a guideline, and the type and amount of clothing depend on the wife’s needs and clothing style. He also mentions that if the wife does not want new clothes every six months, the husband is not obligated to provide them.
Dowry (mahr).
Islam has granted women the right to a dowry (mahr). It is obligatory for the husband to pay the agreed mahr. He may pay it before establishing marital relations or after, but it is necessary to fulfill the agreed mahr. Now, the question arises: what should be the amount of mahr? The answer is that the best method is to set the mahr in accordance with what is customary for the women in the bride’s family. If the man is willing and has the capacity to give a higher mahr, then setting a higher amount is good. In essence, a higher mahr will be determined by the man’s capacity, while a lower mahr will be based on the customary mahr of the women in the bride’s family.
وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً ۚ فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَنْ شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا
[القرآن 4:4]
“And give the women their dowries as a free gift. But if they give up willingly anything of it to you, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”
[Qur’an 4:4]
The Importance of Assessing a Potential Husband’s Qualifications for Marriage.
Marriage is not an easy process. Marriage is an act of worship that requires a great deal of effort. Men must meet the necessary conditions for marriage and be capable of fulfilling their marital responsibilities. Once you find a man who is capable of fulfilling your rights, you should learn about his character, personality, and goals. You can also consider whether you have a similar mindset and envision a similar future. It is also important that you are physically attracted to your potential husband. Unfortunately, people engage in long conversations with a potential spouse, discussing topics that determine compatibility, without ensuring that the man in question is even qualified for marriage. It is essential that you only consider a man for marriage who is financially capable of providing you with private accommodation.
A man should follow the Sunnah in matters of marriage.
If you want to make life prosperous, it is essential for both men and women to follow the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah, and to look at the aspects of the life of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in this matter. As Hazrat Aisha (RA) reports, the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) used to do his household work himself, such as bringing his own food, mending his own shoes. Therefore, a man should follow this Sunnah and do household chores, which will create peace and harmony in the home. Sometimes, a man treats outsiders well but is harsh towards his wife at home. Such a person may receive praise from outsiders, but in the sight of Allah and His Messenger, he is not the best. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said that the best among you are those who are good to their families. May Allah grant us the ability to act accordingly.
